His gaze
by DearBeliever
Summary: Anna awakens early one morning and wrestles with her insecurities...


The erratic rap of hail against the bedroom window slowly forced its way into Anna's consciousness. Covers at her ears, she rolled onto her back and sighed. It had been a fitful night's sleep due to the unseasonably stormy weather. She actually couldn't recall the last time she had awoken to a room illuminated by sunlight. It's May for goodness sake, she mused.

The clock on the dresser drawers read 5:25am. Another half an hour until she had to be up and begin the day's familiar routine. Anna slowly smoothed her hand across the mattress and was somewhat surprised to find the solid bulk of her husband next to her. Usually John awoke before 5am and would make his way downstairs to prepare the tea and go about his methodical morning routine. Anna hoped that once he became more accustomed to life as a free man again, he would be able to take more solace in being at rest.

Anna smiled and rolled over onto her right. Her husband lay on his back; his right arm was tucked over his head and lay nestled under the pillow. He was bare-chested, his undershirt having been discarded before he even made it into their bed the previous night. Anna savoured the carefree, dishevelled form before her.

She toyed with the notion of awaking him with a chaste kiss but felt a pang of guilt about possibly stealing such precious rest from him. As Anna loomed over him, silently debating what to do with this rare opportunity, a boyish smile slowly appeared on her husband's lips. His eyes opened just in time to note the look of surprise resister on his wife's face.

"I'm not going anywhere, Anna. You don't need to commit me to memory."

She swatted his shoulder playfully. "Be quiet," she tutted. "I know that, you silly beggar. I was just pleasantly surprised to find you still here."

"Mmm," John nodded, groggily. "I'm not sure whether it was you or the storm last night, but _something_ has caused me to feel more than a little fatigued this morning." He raised his eyebrows at her and once again flashed the smile that took at least 10 years off him.

Just as Anna began to blush and turn away, he quickly sat up and wrapped his arm around her waist. Easing her down onto her back, John pushed the loose hairs away from her eyes and traced his finger along his wife's delicate jaw.

"Last night was wonderful, Anna," he breathed. "I wish we could stay like this all morning… And all afternoon, for that matter."

They had been making love as often as possible since they had been blessed with the sanctuary of their own cottage and things had only been getting better and better as far as John was concerned.

He had found relations between them to be beyond blissful from the very beginning but now, he got the sense, that Anna was beginning to feel a little more confident. John adored the way that she was now willing to indicate what pleased her and also that she felt comfortable enough to initiate the physical side of their relationship.

"I wish we could stay like this too." She pressed her lips to his, smiling at the craning of his neck and his eagerness to deepen the kiss, even given the ungodly hour.

"Now, now, Mr Bates," she chuckled, breaking away and sitting back against the sturdy headboard. "We have a long day in front of us."

He sighed and slowly sat up to join her. "Spoil sport."

She smiled and hugged the sheet around her upper body. Like her husband, she too was in a state undress and Anna now wondered in which direction her husband had discarded her night gown when he had had peeled it from her body the night before.

"Everything okay?" John questioned, noting her subtle movements.

"Yes, just looking for my nightgown."

"Ahhhh, mea culpa, " he answered with a knowing smile.

Anna felt a sudden fit of bashfulness. It wasn't as if she had never been naked before him. Of course she had but, on those occasions, John undressed her gradually within their marital bed where she was illuminated by the soft glow of candlelight. Presently, John lay prone beside her and was showing no signs of movement. Anna very much wished to treat her husband and to be the one to boil the water for their morning tea for once, yet she felt reluctance to rise and cross their room unclothed.

"I'll get up and let you get dressed," he spoke finally, rolling his tired shoulders.

"You don't have to," she shot back. She was frustrated at herself and her own inhibitions. Anna shook her head and placed her right hand on his thigh. "I mean, it's alright… You stay here and rest a while longer."

He felt the tension in her body and understood what she was thinking. It went without saying that they were still becoming accustomed to one another. It was only natural and still a mere matter of weeks since his release from prison. This was Anna's first experience of this kind of intimacy and so he was trying to be as sensitive as possible and let her set the tone.

Taking a deep, steadying breath, Anna slowly swung her legs out of the bed and pressed her feet to the floor. "Cold, this morning," she spoke quietly.

"Yes," John answered, eyes downcast and studying the trim of their bed spread intently. "I'm sure summer will be along in no time at all."

Anna turned to look at him and noted his obvious efforts to make her feel more comfortable. She felt her heart swell with love for him. He called her his 'angel' and his 'saviour' but, truly, he bore her up each and every day in so many ways.

Anna wanted to reward his patience. Could she do this? Her heart began to pound a little in her chest but she quietened her reservations. "John. You can look at me, you know." She straightened her neck a raised her chin. Then spoke again in a quieter voice, "I'd like you to."

John was shocked to hear her words, his head rising to meet her determined gaze. His chest began to rise and fall in a faster rhythm as he took in every inch of his wife before him.

Anna slowly bent down to pick up her gown from the floor, her cheeks burning crimson as she imagined the sight afforded to her husband. Turning to take in his wide eyed response, she placed the garment on the hook and allowed him study her.

"Anna, I…" John stopped himself, unable to articulate his thoughts. He felt slightly guilty for staring, yet he couldn't tear his eyes away. His eyes travelled from her ankles, up her smooth legs, to her perfectly-formed breasts and back again.

The uncomfortable self-consciousness that Anna had initially experienced as she padded across the bedroom floor was now tinged with a smidge of empowerment as John's rapt attention remained focused on her. His breathing was definitely shallow and Anna decided to push herself a little further. She began to slowly walk towards him, pausing for a few seconds after each step.

In the back of her mind she thought about what a foolish sight she must make, behaving in such a manner. But one glance at her husband's parted lips and darkened gaze and she felt emboldened.

"God, Anna. What you do to me," he groaned, unsure of whether to be an active or passive participant in events.

"Really? Because I was just thinking the same about you, my handsome husband." Anna stopped a few feet away from the bed and placed a hand on her hip with all of the confidence and poise she could muster.

He guffawed at her comment and reached out his right hand to try and touch the milky skin of her thigh.

Anna moved out his reach ever so slightly and switched her weight from foot to foot with a subtle sway of her hips. She only hoped that she appeared mildly more alluring than foolish. "Truly, John. I want you to know that I desire you just as much as you do me."

"I don't know if that's possible, my sweet." She was impossibly beautiful to him as she stood there in that moment; his strong, wonderful Anna. He looked at the clock and wondered if he had time to show her exactly how beautiful she was to him and how much her little demonstration had affected him.

Anna smiled in satisfaction, noting his restless movements and the shift in form where the sheets pooled around his waist. "Believe it, John. I find more things to cherish about you each minute we spend together." She placed her left knee next to his hip and swung the other over his body gracefully so that she now effectively straddled him, although she refrained from touching him for the moment.

"Good lord…" John breathed. He glanced up at the playful smile on his wife's lips and was at once very aware of his hands. Should he touch her? Did she want him to? Or should he allow her to be in control? His will was being tested to the edge of its limits as his head rested level with the scattering of golden freckles above her breasts.

Anna now felt at ease and desire was building to the point of no return within her. The empowerment that she was experiencing was entirely unfamiliar and most intoxicating. She knew that she needed to move things along. Taking his large hands in hers, she brought them to her breasts and arched her body down towards him, offering him moans of encouragement as he palmed them firmly.

He brought his lips to her ear, nipping and licking in what he feared might be an alarmingly feral manner to his wife, but he was far beyond finesse. "You know," he rumbled. "If this is what happens when I stay in bed a little longer, then I think I will have to rethink my sleep pattern."

Anna pushed him back down and brought her lips to his own stubbled neck. "Mmm, I think you'd better, Mr Bates."


End file.
